A mother's letter to her unborn child

Many woman, for many reasons, live to have a biological child but for some that is only a dream for many reasons. Here is a letter from a woman to her unborn child.


Dear Heartbeat of my Soul,

I knew I wanted you long before I was able to have you. As I got older and I saw the world around us, I knew the only way I was going to have you was if I found the right daddy for you. I didn't want to just have you with anyone. I wanted you to have a daddy that would love you as much as I did and had the dedication to be with you, watch you grow up and be just as proud of you in your accomplishments.

I was excited to hear the doctor say, “Your pregnant!” I was excited to hear your heartbeat for the first time. I was excited to see my first pictures of your face and try to see your features and figure out who you were going to look like. I wanted to feel you grow inside of my body into the perfect little baby you were meant to be. I couldn't wait to feel you move letting me know you were there. I wanted to sing to you and talk to you while you grew so you would hear my voice and know once you were born and heard that same voice that I was that mommy that loved you before you were even born. I knew the pain of giving birth to you would have been worth it the second I saw your precious face. 

The long sleepless nights would have been worth it knowing the reason I couldn't sleep was to be to take care of you. The long sleepless days would have been worth it knowing I would be watching you learn something new every day. My days would consist of being with you as you learn to roll over, crawl, take your first steps and eventually run. You would take your first bites of baby food and graduate to regular food. Learning to drink out of a cup like you knew all along. 

Days of taking you to the park and learning how to go down a slide have always been something looked forward to. Those days of teaching you your ABC’s and 123’s while at night singing you baby lullabies were events I thought I would live for. Now I believe they are all but a dream. 

Watching you grow into your own personality and identity traits as you start school. Dropping you off at your first day of Kindergarten and you bringing home your art projects. Going through elementary school and graduating on to Junior High and on to High School where you would have went to your junior and senior prom before heading off to college to start your future. Eventually you would be starting a family of your own and I could only pray we as your parents  would have instilled the morals and values you needed to be successful in all aspects of your life. 

Watching you take on life's milestones and conquering them is all I ever wanted to experience with you but as life has plans of its own, it looks like that I won't be able to experience this with you. I am older now and although now a days women are having babies later in life, I am not sure life's plan will be for me to experience biological motherhood with you, my precious love one, but know that I only wanted to best life for you and I couldn't bring you in this world if it meant I would be responsible for hurt and pain that I could myself prevent. With this being said, know I loved you as a baby myself and I will always love you till the day I leave this earthy plain and for eternally. 

Love always and for eternally, 
Your mommy who would have loved you more than her own life

The Positive Side of What No One Knows is AVAILABLE!!!

After many years of putting this project aside for many reasons, the time has come and The Positive Side of What No One Knows, is finally available through Amazon on Kindle and paperback.

Some have asked why there are two different covers for the book. One is for the paperback and one is for the Kindle version. The original cover for the book was the cover that is being used for the Kindle version (the photo of The Bay with the mountains)  which ended up not being a large enough file for the paperback version so I had to go with a separate cover for the paperback.

Why not use the same for both? Being as this was my first book, the original cover had meaning behind it when it was made. This had to be a cover for many reasons. So, with that being said this is the first edition of the book and this was the first cover made for the book so this was going to be the first cover at any cost. Luckily for me it worked for the Kindle version and I am happy with that.

I know many have asked about the covers as well as the spelling errors that have been made and not found prior to the printing of the paperback. At first I found this disturbing as I wanted to book to be perfect. It has been a month and half since the release of the paperback and I have come to the conclusion that even the little imperfections make the book perfect.

The book wasn't written to be a best seller, although that would be amazing, but rather written for those who have gone through traumatic events in their lives to see they are not alone. There are others in this world who have similar experiences and live every day trying to turn their tragic pasts into positive futures.

Psychic Profiler - Book Review

The writer, Robbie Thomas, gives you a mental insight of his thought process and how him and his family handles a very demanding and mentally straining working relationship with families and law enforcement in missing person cases. He has written details of each case along with enough photo proof of the cases along with testimonials from family and law enforcement of which he personally worked with on each case, not just referrals of those he works with "in his career". He lets us the reader know enough details about the cases without having to divulge the entire case.

There are cases with happy endings such as Julie and Bill's story which will have you crying because if Robbie hadn't been there to assist, well the ending would have been very different. There are cases where there are not always happy endings but Robbie doesn't stop at the word no. I appreciate the work the writer has put into this book. This is a Vol 1. I am looking forward to Vol 2.

For some it is just another day

I know I have posted on a while but I decided today would be the day I post and this would be the subject of my post. I want trying to be nosey but when people are being loud and walking by your room, they are kind of making it your business.

Two women walk by and then stop right outside of my room and continue talking about the upcoming holiday. That " holiday" would be Valentine's Day. One woman was saying how she doesn't like how everyone puts such an emphasis on one day out of the year where everything is so expensive from candy to flowers to stuffed animals. Little things that would costs pennies on the dollar cost dollar to the twenty. She stated that if her man can't spoil her all year, she doesn't want anything from him on Valentine's Day.

The other female started that her man gets on her nerves, is in between jobs and because he doesn't do anything for her all year, he better do something really nice for her on Valentine's Day or he is kicked to the curb.

I guess my question is, " How does a woman measure her worth?" Is it by how her man treats her? Is it how she treats herself or how she allows others to treat her? 

If a woman is going to degrade her man and say that he doesn't do anything for you and he isn't worth a damn thing, then why are you with him? Love? Is love enough? If so, then why complain? If you expect more then why accept less? There is a difference between supporting, enabling, and help to be a better person.

If you have a damaged man but you see the is trying to build himself into greatness but needs a boost, by all means, be that boost. But if you have a man who has no spark of self discipline with no eye on the prize of future success, you just may have to realize love alone isn't going to light that spark and he has to find his own way.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be the day to judge someone's love for you based on what they get or do for you. I'm not saying they should "spoil" you with physical gifts all year because there are many things someone could do to show their love for you but if they get themselves more gifts than they get you, maybe you should take a look at things.