“We are spiritual beings having a human experience.”
Stacy Lupinacci
December 18, 2009
These words as they ring true, don't always help our physical human selves understand or even care to want to understand what we go through when a child has moved on. When a couple hears the words, “You're going to have a baby.”, “It's positive.”, or “ You're pregnant.” , you can be overwhelmed with emotions. It doesn't matter who you are in the relationship. It doesn't matter if it's a heterosexual, homosexual, or just friends who choose to share in the joys of having a child together; to ear those words, you can be bombarded with mixed emotions. Even if the pregnancy was planned, you start to ask if you will be a good parent and provider for this child. Will you be a good role model to help this child grow to be the productive person society needs.
Days go by, then weeks,then months. This whole time, you have continued to nurture this growing physical, most precious gift which is going to have a soul much larger then any little mobile human body can hold. You start to bond with this baby, even though you have no idea what he or she is going to look like. This is the strongest bond you can have with another human being because this is unconditional love. There is no boundaries in which you can base your love. Not that there should be any involved anyways. This entity is going to bring that piece of you out that you yourself didn't see within you.
You are on top of the highest mountain in the world screaming for joy at the face that your precious bundle of joy is soon to make that grand entrance to fill your lives with the most up beat feeling of love and contentment. There is nothing that consumes your every breath and being more than to hear that sound. The cry of your newborn baby as they take their first breath and enters this world full of innocence and love.
What happens when you go to the hospital for that final check-up moments before you are about to deliver your baby and you find out that are never going to be able to hear their cry. As you sit there, the doctors are whispering. You ask, “What's wrong?”. “Is everything alright?”, “Is there something wrong with my baby?” Then the doctor turns to you and says, “I'm sorry, but your baby didn't make it. I'm sorry”.
At that moment, it happens so quick, without the blink of your eyes. You feel your soul fall into the deepest, darkest black hole. It seems like you are light years from ever seeing the light of another day. You are all alone. No one knows how you are feeling. No one understand. At that moment, not even the co-parent knows. Although you feel your chest is being restricted, you physically can't move. You're mind goes to another place and time. This can't be happening. Tears seem to freeze as they fall down your face like ice cycles on a roof top in the coldest of winters. You are cold..That warm glow that once filled your entire being, has turned to black ice. You may not be able to see it, but it's there waiting for someone to encounter it and meet it's wrath. Did you hear it right? Is it really true, or is this the cruelest joke a person can possibly play on another human being?
What can possibly be worse than hearing those words? Can their be such words? Could they possibly exist? Yes they can. Just when you thought, “What now?”, you hear, “We have to deliver the baby.” Are you serious? You begin to sink deeper into the hole as you scream to yourself, “I can't do this!”
The time comes when it is necessary to put all of your strength into delivering your little angel. As hard as it may seem, it is even harder to do. As you gather your to follow through, there is a small part of you that wants to wake up in the end saying, “Thank God it was only a nightmare!” The devastating part is, it was not a dream.
As you deliver your precious bundle, you wait to hear the chimes of sounds that prove all is well. The doctors were wrong. My baby is going to be healthy and live a long prosperous life. That sound never comes. It is true. The warm glow is now proven to be gone.
A body so still. A body with no warmth. Ten perfect tiny toes and ten perfect tiny fingers. The perfect little face so precious and still. No movement to be done. No breath to be taken. Where have you gone? Why have you gone? The shell of a body, so empty inside. Where has the conglomerate of a soul gone? May I go too? How do I go on? How do I find that light from the bottom of this hole?
Time goes on but you are finding it harder to accept the fact that you will never hear your baby cry. You won't watch him or her grown up and have life's milestones that you were looking forward to sharing with them. As time goes on, the tragic event of losing your baby brings you to a place where there is no comfort. No one can help you, not even your partner who is going through a dark place all of their own. Will there ever be light at the end of the tunnel? Does such a tunnel even exist?
The truth of life as we know it, is that everything happens for a reason. I, in my opinion, honestly believe that the entity in which was supposed to reside in this mobile vehicle, has changed their plan and not incarnate. This wasn't their time, so the golden cord has been severed.
With me being a firm believer that we all write our plan of life's charted path, I believe that that we “chart” events like this for us to learn and spiritually advance. I know that we chart with other entities to aid us in this learning process. I know that our “human” minds don't always allow ourselves to see what we are to learn at the time, but in time, we look back and we miss that entity with the beings of who we are, but we learn to appreciate that same entity for agreeing to help us find who we are and be a part of our spiritual learning and growth process.
This paper was inspired by a truly advanced soul of an angel who aided in the spiritual advancement of another soul to help him become the person he is today and for that I thank her.
Days go by, then weeks,then months. This whole time, you have continued to nurture this growing physical, most precious gift which is going to have a soul much larger then any little mobile human body can hold. You start to bond with this baby, even though you have no idea what he or she is going to look like. This is the strongest bond you can have with another human being because this is unconditional love. There is no boundaries in which you can base your love. Not that there should be any involved anyways. This entity is going to bring that piece of you out that you yourself didn't see within you.
You are on top of the highest mountain in the world screaming for joy at the face that your precious bundle of joy is soon to make that grand entrance to fill your lives with the most up beat feeling of love and contentment. There is nothing that consumes your every breath and being more than to hear that sound. The cry of your newborn baby as they take their first breath and enters this world full of innocence and love.
What happens when you go to the hospital for that final check-up moments before you are about to deliver your baby and you find out that are never going to be able to hear their cry. As you sit there, the doctors are whispering. You ask, “What's wrong?”. “Is everything alright?”, “Is there something wrong with my baby?” Then the doctor turns to you and says, “I'm sorry, but your baby didn't make it. I'm sorry”.
At that moment, it happens so quick, without the blink of your eyes. You feel your soul fall into the deepest, darkest black hole. It seems like you are light years from ever seeing the light of another day. You are all alone. No one knows how you are feeling. No one understand. At that moment, not even the co-parent knows. Although you feel your chest is being restricted, you physically can't move. You're mind goes to another place and time. This can't be happening. Tears seem to freeze as they fall down your face like ice cycles on a roof top in the coldest of winters. You are cold..That warm glow that once filled your entire being, has turned to black ice. You may not be able to see it, but it's there waiting for someone to encounter it and meet it's wrath. Did you hear it right? Is it really true, or is this the cruelest joke a person can possibly play on another human being?
What can possibly be worse than hearing those words? Can their be such words? Could they possibly exist? Yes they can. Just when you thought, “What now?”, you hear, “We have to deliver the baby.” Are you serious? You begin to sink deeper into the hole as you scream to yourself, “I can't do this!”
The time comes when it is necessary to put all of your strength into delivering your little angel. As hard as it may seem, it is even harder to do. As you gather your to follow through, there is a small part of you that wants to wake up in the end saying, “Thank God it was only a nightmare!” The devastating part is, it was not a dream.
As you deliver your precious bundle, you wait to hear the chimes of sounds that prove all is well. The doctors were wrong. My baby is going to be healthy and live a long prosperous life. That sound never comes. It is true. The warm glow is now proven to be gone.
A body so still. A body with no warmth. Ten perfect tiny toes and ten perfect tiny fingers. The perfect little face so precious and still. No movement to be done. No breath to be taken. Where have you gone? Why have you gone? The shell of a body, so empty inside. Where has the conglomerate of a soul gone? May I go too? How do I go on? How do I find that light from the bottom of this hole?
Time goes on but you are finding it harder to accept the fact that you will never hear your baby cry. You won't watch him or her grown up and have life's milestones that you were looking forward to sharing with them. As time goes on, the tragic event of losing your baby brings you to a place where there is no comfort. No one can help you, not even your partner who is going through a dark place all of their own. Will there ever be light at the end of the tunnel? Does such a tunnel even exist?
The truth of life as we know it, is that everything happens for a reason. I, in my opinion, honestly believe that the entity in which was supposed to reside in this mobile vehicle, has changed their plan and not incarnate. This wasn't their time, so the golden cord has been severed.
With me being a firm believer that we all write our plan of life's charted path, I believe that that we “chart” events like this for us to learn and spiritually advance. I know that we chart with other entities to aid us in this learning process. I know that our “human” minds don't always allow ourselves to see what we are to learn at the time, but in time, we look back and we miss that entity with the beings of who we are, but we learn to appreciate that same entity for agreeing to help us find who we are and be a part of our spiritual learning and growth process.
This paper was inspired by a truly advanced soul of an angel who aided in the spiritual advancement of another soul to help him become the person he is today and for that I thank her.
Stacy Lupinacci
December 18, 2009
© Copyright 2009 Stacy_Lupinacci (UN: stacylupinacci at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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